leleram
20th January 2007, 08:45 PM
Why do men avoid relationship talk?
Men are always ready or eager to do everything from ironing, washing up and nappy changing. A man can find a million and one other things to do rather than sit down with his partner and (deep breath) talk about their relationship.
It's not because men don't care about their woman, its just that the word 'relationship discussion' mean different things to men and women. Often a woman will just want a chat, which can also involve airing her thoughts and worries. However, a lot of men don't see a simple clearing the air discussion
as a moan or an indication of unhappiness. He gets on the defensive, says everything she's saying is rubbish; she says, he's uncaring and doesn't understand her.
So what's the answer?
How can two grown-ups manage to have an adult conversation about their relationship?
It's probably a good idea to first of all, recognise that your man sees the whole discussion process from a widely different viewpoint.
Before you sit down with him and begin talking, it might pay to explain that what you're about to say isn't a moan. If you're about to make some sort of criticism, pay him a compliment first or stress some of the great things about your relationship.
During relationship discussions, men tend to look for logical answers to
issues that are less than straightforward. Try explaining to him that you don't necessarily want quick fix responses from him if you do simply
want to get something off your chest, tell him that. Ask him to just listen.:001_rolleyes:
Men are always ready or eager to do everything from ironing, washing up and nappy changing. A man can find a million and one other things to do rather than sit down with his partner and (deep breath) talk about their relationship.
It's not because men don't care about their woman, its just that the word 'relationship discussion' mean different things to men and women. Often a woman will just want a chat, which can also involve airing her thoughts and worries. However, a lot of men don't see a simple clearing the air discussion
as a moan or an indication of unhappiness. He gets on the defensive, says everything she's saying is rubbish; she says, he's uncaring and doesn't understand her.
So what's the answer?
How can two grown-ups manage to have an adult conversation about their relationship?
It's probably a good idea to first of all, recognise that your man sees the whole discussion process from a widely different viewpoint.
Before you sit down with him and begin talking, it might pay to explain that what you're about to say isn't a moan. If you're about to make some sort of criticism, pay him a compliment first or stress some of the great things about your relationship.
During relationship discussions, men tend to look for logical answers to
issues that are less than straightforward. Try explaining to him that you don't necessarily want quick fix responses from him if you do simply
want to get something off your chest, tell him that. Ask him to just listen.:001_rolleyes: