Draconian
4th February 2006, 07:31 PM
Call centre jobs: people wonder why r they paid so much.............
for just being on the phone. Take a look:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to
right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a
pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click
again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can
you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me
to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I received the
software update you sent, but I am still getting
the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you
install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I
supposed to install it to get it to work?"
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer:: "I'm having trouble
installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what
you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove
the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC
manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS
Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS
word?"
Customer: "No..."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer:: "Do I need a
computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "Ok, in the
bottom left hand side of the screen, can
you
see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you
see my screen from there?"
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "What type of
computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at
the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell
that?"
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Is your
computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the
button to log on to our service)
Tech Support:: "Well then we
can't-"
Customer:: "It says 'no dial
tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because
you're on the line with me right now. You
need to-"
Customer:: "No, that's not it.
It does this all the time. I just have
to
try
a few times, and it will let
me through."
Tech Support:: "No, ma'am.
It's not even trying to dial right now because
you're on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy.
I'll try again later."
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What's on your
screen right now?" Customer: "A stuffed
animal that my boyfriend got
me at the grocery store."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "What operating
system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "My computer's
telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I have Microsoft
Exploder."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "How do I print my
voicemail?"
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "You've got to fix
my computer. I urgently need to print
document,
but the computer won't boot
properly." Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an
error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your
machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a
sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Just call us
back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern
time?"
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "What does the
screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER
when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when
it's ready?"
for just being on the phone. Take a look:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to
right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a
pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click
again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can
you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me
to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I received the
software update you sent, but I am still getting
the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you
install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I
supposed to install it to get it to work?"
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer:: "I'm having trouble
installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what
you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove
the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC
manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS
Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS
word?"
Customer: "No..."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer:: "Do I need a
computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "Ok, in the
bottom left hand side of the screen, can
you
see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you
see my screen from there?"
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "What type of
computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at
the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell
that?"
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Is your
computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the
button to log on to our service)
Tech Support:: "Well then we
can't-"
Customer:: "It says 'no dial
tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because
you're on the line with me right now. You
need to-"
Customer:: "No, that's not it.
It does this all the time. I just have
to
try
a few times, and it will let
me through."
Tech Support:: "No, ma'am.
It's not even trying to dial right now because
you're on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy.
I'll try again later."
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "What's on your
screen right now?" Customer: "A stuffed
animal that my boyfriend got
me at the grocery store."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "What operating
system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "My computer's
telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I have Microsoft
Exploder."
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "How do I print my
voicemail?"
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "You've got to fix
my computer. I urgently need to print
document,
but the computer won't boot
properly." Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an
error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your
machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a
sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Just call us
back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern
time?"
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support:: "What does the
screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER
when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when
it's ready?"