Eshtyle Raja
9th April 2006, 02:24 AM
One the most humorous commentaries on Indo-Pak Political situation (the Indian bureaucracy is the one to watch out for….)
* During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet
> satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than
45
> seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way. Recent studies
> commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war
> between India and Pakistan.
> This was their scenario................. The Pakistan army decides to
> launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission
from
> their government, and promptly order the countdowns. Indian
technology is
> highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak
> countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution. But they
need
> permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to
the
> Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime
> Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meet! s, but due
to
> several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets
adjourned
> indefinitely. The President asks for a quick decision. In the mean
time,
> the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their
> attempts for a relaunch are still on. Just then the Indian ruling
party is
> reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support
> withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within
a
> week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a
caretaker
> government is installed. The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed
> forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says
that
> a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections
are
> at hand. A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court
> alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission. The Supreme
Court
> comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized
to
> take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation. Just
then
> one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles
away
> from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM.
Fortunately
> there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that
early.
> In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere
in
> flight. The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies
from
> China and USA. The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to
launch
> a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting.
This
> time all the parties agree. Its three months since the army had
sought
> permission. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear"
> activists come out against the Government's d! ecision. Human chains
are
> formed and Rasta rokos organised. In California and Washington
endless
> e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning
> "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible". On the Pakistan
side,
> the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target
due to
> technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan. Many of
them
> land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes. A missile (smuggled
from
> USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan army is unable to
> understand its software, it hits it original destination: Russia.
Russians
> successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a
nuclear
> missile towards Islamabad. The missile hits the target and creates
havoc.
> Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has
> happened and sends in 5 million dollars worth o! f Parle-G biscuits.
Thus
> India never gets to launch the missile. Pakistan never gets it right.
And
> both live happily ever after!!!!!
* During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet
> satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than
45
> seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way. Recent studies
> commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war
> between India and Pakistan.
> This was their scenario................. The Pakistan army decides to
> launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission
from
> their government, and promptly order the countdowns. Indian
technology is
> highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak
> countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution. But they
need
> permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to
the
> Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime
> Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meet! s, but due
to
> several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets
adjourned
> indefinitely. The President asks for a quick decision. In the mean
time,
> the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their
> attempts for a relaunch are still on. Just then the Indian ruling
party is
> reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support
> withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within
a
> week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a
caretaker
> government is installed. The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed
> forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says
that
> a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections
are
> at hand. A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court
> alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission. The Supreme
Court
> comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized
to
> take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation. Just
then
> one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles
away
> from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM.
Fortunately
> there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that
early.
> In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere
in
> flight. The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies
from
> China and USA. The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to
launch
> a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting.
This
> time all the parties agree. Its three months since the army had
sought
> permission. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear"
> activists come out against the Government's d! ecision. Human chains
are
> formed and Rasta rokos organised. In California and Washington
endless
> e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning
> "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible". On the Pakistan
side,
> the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target
due to
> technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan. Many of
them
> land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes. A missile (smuggled
from
> USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan army is unable to
> understand its software, it hits it original destination: Russia.
Russians
> successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a
nuclear
> missile towards Islamabad. The missile hits the target and creates
havoc.
> Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has
> happened and sends in 5 million dollars worth o! f Parle-G biscuits.
Thus
> India never gets to launch the missile. Pakistan never gets it right.
And
> both live happily ever after!!!!!