Haryanvi chutkule

[PungiBAAZ]

एक बै फत्तू खेत म्ह रेडियो स*ुणे था। रेडियो पै एक लुगाई बताण लाग री थी, बंबई मै बाढ़ आ गी, गुजरात मै हालण आग्या, दिल्ली म्ह... फत्तू नै देख्या पाच्छै नाका टूट्या पड़्या स*ै, अर बाणी दूसरे के खेत म्ह जाण लाग रहया स*ै। फत्तू छोंह म्ह आकै रेड़ियो कै दो लट्ठ मारकै बोल्या - दूर-दूर की बताण लाग री स*ै, लवै नाका टूट्या पड़या स*ै, यो बतांदे होए तेरा मुँह दुक्खै स*ै।

[PungiBAAZ]

Once Chautala thought that he should teach english to his father . He started teaching from A for Apple B Bhains ( Buffalo) etc etc. When he came to M he said M for Mummy or 'Maa'. Proceeding further when W came Tau said ," Yaa kimi Jaani Phchani lage hai". (It seen that he has seen it some where). Then he recollected ," HAA, YAA SAI TO CHAUTALA KE MAA PER YAA ULTI KAYUN HOO RAHI SAI".( Yes, It is Chautal's mother, But why she is upside down.)

[PungiBAAZ]

Once Tau boarded a buss. Bus was very much crowded. On looking around tau found dirvers seat vacant and quickly grabbed it. After some time the dirver came and asked Tau to vacate the seat. Tau as usual refused to part with the seat. The driver politely said, "Tau mene Bus chalani sai"( I have to drive the Buss). Tau replied," To phir mere sir pe baith ke chalawega, pechay baith ke nahi chalai jati" ( So you would dirve while sitting on my head, why don't you sit behind and drive). The driver said jokingly and politely, " Tau pechay baith ke chalayi to buss pchey jawagi" ( If I would drive from behind then it would go back). Tau answered " Hammn !!, tu mene bewkuf samaj rekhya sai, mene bera sai, bus main to ek ulta gear bhi hoya kere" (You think i am a fool, I know that there is a reverse gear also in the buss

[PungiBAAZ]

Once a Tau was gonig on the road. A car wala blew horn from behind. Tau looked back asked the dirver," Ya sadak ke tere BAAP ki Sai ?" ( Does this road belongs to your father ?). The dirver replied in annoiance ,"HAA". Tau immediately replied ," Apne BAAP se keh de sadak thorii CHOREE karva de ga, Yoo Tau na halley".( Say your father to broaden the road as this Tau wouldn't move aside.)

[PungiBAAZ]

Once a thief broke in to Tau's house and successfully completed his operation. In the morning when tau wake up he went to police station for lodging an FIR.
The policeman asked : "Tau ke Bkhat Tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau :" Bhai Bkaht to mada ey tha, taien to yeh rasey ho gaye" (The time was bad, that's why this trouble happened).
The policeman :" Tau Bajya ke tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau answered:" Key batau daroga ji, ek lath to mera sir mein bajya tha or ek teri Taei ke ser mein bajya" (What should I tell inspecter ji, one stick hit on my head and one on your Taei's(Tau's wife) head).
Policeman :" Tau ye bata Ghari pey ke bajya tha"(What was the time in the clock).
Tau :" Beta, Ghari pey to ke he tikya hta aur wa tut gayi"( On stick was hit on the clock and it broke down

[Swami Sambhoganand]

Once a thief broke in to Tau's house and successfully completed his operation. In the morning when tau wake up he went to police station for lodging an FIR.
The policeman asked : "Tau ke Bkhat Tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau :" Bhai Bkaht to mada ey tha, taien to yeh rasey ho gaye" (The time was bad, that's why this trouble happened).
The policeman :" Tau Bajya ke tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau answered:" Key batau daroga ji, ek lath to mera sir mein bajya tha or ek teri Taei ke ser mein bajya" (What should I tell inspecter ji, one stick hit on my head and one on your Taei's(Tau's wife) head).
Policeman :" Tau ye bata Ghari pey ke bajya tha"(What was the time in the clock).
Tau :" Beta, Ghari pey to ke he tikya hta aur wa tut gayi"( On stick was hit on the clock and it broke down

:adore: :adore: jai ho

[boyricky41]

Ek jat doosre jat sey,
"Arre tanney bera ke Hanuman bhi jat tha?"

Doosra bolya, " Tanne kyunkar bera patya?"

Pehley alla bolya,
"Lugai to ram ki kho gayi thi aur aag Hanuman ne apni poonch mein lagwa li! Jat ke bagair aur koi issa kam kar sakk hai?"

[Laundiabaaz]

शाम - सबेरे तेरी घणी याद आवै है। सारी रात मन्नै जगावै है।
करने को तो करूं तन्नै कॉल।
... पर कस्टमर केयर की छोरी हर बार बैलंस लो बतावै है।

[KDReloaded]

Ek jat doosre jat sey,
"Arre tanney bera ke Hanuman bhi jat tha?"

Doosra bolya, " Tanne kyunkar bera patya?"

Pehley alla bolya,
"Lugai to ram ki kho gayi thi aur aag Hanuman ne apni poonch mein lagwa li! Jat ke bagair aur koi issa kam kar sakk hai?"


:rofl: Just Avoid Them ;)